A “new year,” as a simple fact, is merely an addition to our human calculations of time. This event also includes the physical replacement of a calendar on the wall to help us keep track of it. But there is an extra part to it all—one that is welcomed by some and can be quite exciting. It requires a sense of hope, even the faintest amount of it. That extra part of the “new year” experience is one’s desire for new beginnings.

New beginnings are what a time of change can be called, and they can feel like taking a deep breath of fresh air. In a lighthearted comparison, it can be likened to England’s tea time or the Irish coffee break. For others, it can be a halting stop—a time for reassessment of paradigms and life choices; in other words, a much-needed time for change.

Our family, along with some of our friends, has adopted a process of self-care–based goal setting. We incorporate it into the way we raise our children and into how we teach and share with friends, co-workers, and students. And it works! We strive to find balance in all our planning, which includes daily and weekly schedules, monthly and yearly goals, and even the undertaking of mountainous tasks that require significant energy and time. At the top of that list is self-awareness, combined with self-care.

Here are the areas of focus that we believe must be attended to diligently, based on personal experience and observation, as well as documented psychological studies and ancient mindfulness practices that are still being passed down to eager and motivated “students” (those willing to continue learning) today:
1. Spiritual
2. Social
3. Physical
4. Intellectual

The order of this list holds meaning in itself.

We have all heard the sayings: “You can’t be emotionally supportive to others if you haven’t been emotionally supportive to yourself,” and “You can’t love others if you can’t love yourself,” along with many other phrases that express the same sentiment.

The point: Spiritual work should always begin with checking in with yourself—to feel out what you truly need.

Refined and wise elders in our lives, as well as inspiring religious exemplars, have modeled this practice. They are who I have learned these lessons from.

I break this concept down and apply it repeatedly with visitors here at the farm, my young horse-riding and livestock-training students, and it goes like this:

“To prepare yourself to interact and work with an animal, you must first take care of yourself in ways that help you feel calm and present—mindful. Help yourself heal from anxious or unsettling feelings using methods that are comforting and pleasant. Only then are you able to truly listen to and be aware of the animal you are working with.

(Ahem… this also applies to working with children—or adults who act like children as well… LOL.)

Animals sense what you feel, and everything can quickly turn into a chaotic, emotional mess if you have not prepared yourself first. After preparing yourself, you must have a goal—or just a couple of goals—and they must remain flexible, both in pace and in your vision of the ‘final product.’ Listen to your animal friend and allow yourself to recognize successes, avoiding the urge to push either yourself or the animal too hard.”

Applying the basic message of this farm lesson to our everyday lives reminds us to touch base with ourselves—openly and honestly—and to recognize who we truly are and what we are truly feeling. Do not forget to focus on what you love about yourself.

When you feel at ease and ready, begin setting goals (not expectations), moving at a pace that is loving and compassionate toward yourself, as you work on areas you wish to improve—such as social, physical, or intellectual growth.

So…

Instead of saying Happy New Year (since we all know a full year cannot always be happy), we at Angels Among Us Farm say:

“May your year’s experiences be nurtured with self-love, self-forgiveness, and self-motivation—in other words, self-reliance—to help you find your ‘HAPPY’ in this New Year.”